My job is to be the best replication of Christ that I can possibly be.
With that in mind, I ask myself what it means when the scripture says that a husband is to be to his wife as Jesus is to the church. For me, it comes down to one thing. As Jesus stands in the gap for us, I stand in the gap for my family. I take my family on my shoulders and I will never put them down. How is my family viewed in the community? That is on me. How is my marriage going? That is on me. How are we raising our children, and what decisions do they make? All that is on me.
Here’s an example. Maybe someday my son will get in a fight at school and he’ll punch somebody. I’ll get called into the office and they will say, “This is what your son did.” On that day, I’ll look first at my son and then at the school principal, and I’ll say, “No, this isn’t what my son did. This is what I did. This is on me.”
I’ll take full responsibility for it, and I’ll address it. I’ll deal with my son directly. I’ll teach him to take responsibility for his actions and to apologize for his mistakes. But first, I will go to the other child’s father and apologize. I’ll make sure that the child, the one my son hit, will know that it was my fault. As the head of my family, I’ll apologize for it.
After he sees me do it, I think my son will do the same thing. He’ll take responsibility and apologize. Our children learn from our actions, and I want to inspire my sons to replicate Jesus with me. If my son hurts someone and sees me, his father, literally turn to that person and say, “I’m so sorry, this is on me,” then he’ll want to do the same. When my son sees me accept shame and embarrassment because of his decisions, he’ll want to make better decisions.
That’s why my son won’t see me yell at him or say, “This is your fault.” My son will see me say, “This is my fault.”
Anyone who sees that would say, “I need to make better decisions.” Think about it. What would it feel like if someone is always being embarrassed because of you, but they never embarrass you back? They never blame you or call you out in front of people. Instead, they take the embarrassment for you. Always. How would that make you feel?
You’re going to want to change!
This is what Jesus did on the cross. He took our shame and embarrassment. We respect what He did, and His sacrifice inspires us to be different. Because of Him, we want to be better people. We’re not always going to make the right decisions, but we want to be better people.
I think that’s how our kids will respond to us, if we do the same. They’ll want to be better because they will see their fathers say, “It’s on me. This is my fault. And I’m sorry.”
I really believe this. If this is the choice a man makes, then his wife and kids will respect him for it. Because of it, they’ll be inspired to be better people. Any family will be better because of this.
There are too many men who aren’t willing to accept this job. I say, if they are not willing to accept it, then they are not willing to be husbands and fathers.
See you Saturday.