There is nothing like living in a free home. After all we’ve learned from Truefaced.com, I understand that I can simply be who I am. I don’t have to fake anything. And my wife can be who she wants to be. She doesn’t have to fake anything. We live in the room of grace and we are so happy.
Since taking the Truefaced beta course, there have been times when Larisa and I look back on our life together and say to each other, “Man, we have performed so much in our marriage! We were trying, in our good intentions, to be a “good husband” or a “good wife,” just so that we would like each other.” And now, since we’ve done the Truefaced course and grown to understand the word trust, our marriage is so much better. We’ve grown so much in acceptance, and we help and support each other more than ever.
She treats me with genuine kindness. Like any parent, I can experience some frustration with our sons. But when I do, she will calmly step in and say, “I’ve got it honey. Why don’t you take a little break?” She doesn’t get mad at me or anything like that. She gives me a well-timed assist.
In the same way, she can experience frustration too, and I can stay calm and help her. If she’s having a rough day, I ask myself, “How can I help calm her down? What can I do for her? Do I just need to encourage her? She’s obviously stressed, so maybe I need to step in and help out.”
We don’t get angry with each other. We know we’re going to live out of our flesh at times. Sometimes, we’ll say things that the boys find hurtful. Instead of blaming each other, we help. Larisa will come to me and say, “You know, when you were frustrated with Walker, you might have said something to hurt his feelings. You might want to talk to him about that.” And I will go to my son. I will say, “Hey Walker, did I hurt your feelings?” And if he says yes, then I apologize.
I’ve asked so many people, “Did your dad ever apologize to you?” And they always tell me, “No. My dad never apologized. Even when he was wrong, he never apologized, because he was the dad.”
I think that’s wrong! Our family has been developing trust, and in a relationship of trust, the dad isn’t right all the time. No one is. So I can go to my six year-old son and say, “Daddy was wrong. I made a mistake in how I talked with you and I made a mistake in how I treated you. I am sorry. Will you please forgive me?” And he forgives me.
The willingness to admit our mistakes is so powerful! My sons don’t fear me. They see me as approachable, because I’m willing to say I’m sorry. They realize, “My Dad might get a little upset but I know he’s going to love me, even when I mess up.” My sons don’t have to perform for me in order to earn my love. They know I will love them no matter what.
This freedom is awesome. I can see it in our children. I can see it in our marriage. There is no need to perform to earn love and acceptance. We just trust each other as human beings.
And with that, we find a lot of joy! This is scriptural. More on this next time. See you Thursday.