Home » Family » How To Be A Husband, Part 4

How To Be A Husband, Part 4

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My marriage vow is a covenant between me and my wife. And as I mentioned in closing last time, we have children now, beautiful children who are the fruit of that covenant.

Our covenant means that I’m sworn in to provide for this family however I need to provide for them. Whether my family needs emotional provision, or physical provision, or financial provision, I need to provide what they need. If they need a strong father at any given time, then I need to be strong. If they need a humble father or a humble husband, then I need to be humble. And if they need a dad or a husband that serves them, then at that time I need to be a servant.

And I think that’s how Jesus is. He is the great I Am. He is what you need Him to be at the time. Do you need a strong father? You’ve got one. Do you need a servant? Jesus washed the disciples’ feet! He is the great I Am.

That’s essentially what husbands are trying to be for their families. We’re trying to be an I Am. I do my best show my family that I will try to be what they need me to be. I cannot do it like Jesus does it, which is why ultimately we need him. The fulfillment of my wife is not me, it’s Jesus. Solus Christus. The fulfillment that my children need through a father will be through Jesus, not me. Solus Christus.

I can only be the best that I can possibly be. I will never be what Christ is to them. I can’t be. I can’t do that.

But it is my job, based on scripture. My job is to be the reflection of what Christ is. I have to be the best, and I mean the best replication of Christ that I can possibly be. And the only way that I can possibly do that is in Christ. I can only do it because the Spirit gives me the wisdom to do it.

If you’re going to be a selfish, stubborn person, or you’re going to be prideful, and you don’t want to even try, then I’m telling you, you’ll never even come close. And I think that’s where families fall apart. I think that’s where dads have lost their way. I think that’s why they give up and leave their wives and children. They say, “I can’t live up to what I’m supposed to live up to.” And that’s why we have children now who make poor decisions. Their lives are utter chaos because of the lack of a father figure.

So next time, I’ll say a bit about how to be a father. See you Friday.

4 thoughts on “How To Be A Husband, Part 4

  1. I’m still trying to figure out my faith, but this post left me feeling a little emotional. I read your words and I just *get* what you are saying.

    I grew up with (more like without) a weak father who has lived his life in the exact opposite way that you described. I guess I never believed in my heart that men– real men who take “a man’s duty” seriously and who remain committed to their families– I never thought that men like this existed. I know it sounds silly, but I honestly believed that this ideal was a figment of society’s imagination– something that wasn’t a reality. You are proof that I was wrong.

    You described exactly what I seek in a future husband/father to my future children. I know he is out there somewhere! 🙂 Thank you for being such a good example.

  2. I always enjoy your blog, but this series has been especially encouraging. It solidifies my confidence that even though I’m marrying an A’s fan (ick!), the fact that he lives each day trying to reflect God and God’s love shows me how much of a blessing he is. Thanks Jeremy!

  3. Thank you for this series. I don’t always agree with what you say, but I do appreciate your saying what is in your heart. I do really really like this post. There are men out there who won’t walk away from their families. And there are women who won’t walk away from their families. I truly believe that we, as a society, have fallen away from what is important: God, family, and everyone else (friends, etc) in that order. I’m not an overly religious person but I have found faith in my Higher Power – I have always believed there is a Higher Power, but over the past 9 months of my life, I have rekindled and restrengthened my relationship with my Higher Power.

    One day I’ll post or talk to you personally about this.

    Thank you again for your words and wisdom. You are truly an inspiration.

  4. Mr. Affeldt —

    I wanted to thank you for writing this series. While I don’t agree with many aspects of what you believe, discussing these posts with a friend of mine lead me to be able to articulate much of what I do believe for the first time. That is to say, I’ve spent a lot of time in discussions saying “I disagree,” or “I don’t believe in that,” but not nearly enough time being able to say, “THIS is what I believe,” or “THIS is what’s important to me.” While our beliefs are in a very deep contrast, I wouldn’t have learned these things about myself without these entries to prompt the discussion. So thank you for them. It’s wonderful how people can learn from one another even if they’re coming at the subject from different perspectives.

    I hope your hand heals quickly and well. Look forward to seeing you play next year!

    -KJ

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