Let’s sign a contract with our marriage. Let’s get a pre-nup.
I hear that a lot in my game. The attitude is, “Hey, if you get married, be sure you get that pre-nup so she can’t take all your money.”
And I laugh at that. I laugh at the idea of pre-nups. And people ask me, “Why would you laugh? It’s for my protection!”
You’re telling me that you’re going to stand up in a church and put a ring on someone’s finger after signing a pre-nup. You’re going to have a pastor or a priest do the wedding for you, or however you want to do it, and you’re going to stand there before God and make this commitment.
And at the same time you want to say, “If it doesn’t work, she can’t have anything. Or he can’t have anything. If it doesn’t work, I have to protect myself.”
If there’s a pre-nup involved, then there’s an automatic excuse to get out of your marriage. In other words, it’s not a marriage. It’s just a contract. All you’ve said is, “I’ll sign this contract to be married to you and you’ll be married to me, but the contract can be broken if we want to break it. And we’ll be free.”
So your yes is not yes. And your no is not no.
You’re saying, “My yes is yes only if I like you enough to continue. And my yes is yes only if you agree with everything that I agree with. My yes is yes only if I think things go smoothly.”
But they won’t! There is no way you can bring two human beings together, people with thoughts, emotions, and passions, and think that everything is going to be hunky dory the entire time you’re married. It can’t happen! There’s no way you’ll grow!
For me, a marriage is a commitment that cannot be broken. Sometimes people ask me, “Well, what if you can’t do it? Are you just supposed to live in misery?” No, I don’t think you’re supposed to live in misery. I think you’re supposed to change!
When you find somebody that you’re going to be committed to, and I’m talking ruggedly committed to, then that’s it. You’re committed for life. It’s done. It’s a signed deal.
Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to share some of what my commitment to my wife and children means to me. You might be surprised, and you might even feel like arguing. That’ll be good! See you Tuesday.