Home » Baseball » Inviting Myself In, Part 2

Inviting Myself In, Part 2

You know, as a baseball player, when you initially get to the game you think, “Alright! I made it to the major leagues! I’m a success. I finally made it. It is my calling to be a major league baseball player, and here I am.” In 2002, when I was 22 years old, this happened to me. I made it to the big leagues with the Kansas City Royals.

The Kansas City Royals have had a lot of disappointments in recent years. They weren’t a very good team when I played for them. But do you know what? They gave me a shot. And I learned a lot of things while I was in Kansas City, things that would stay with me and become a profound part of my spiritual life. But that came later. My initial thought, after making it to the big leagues at 22 years old, was, “I did it.” I was excited. I was pumped! I knew that we were losing a lot of games, and I didn’t even care, because I was in the big leagues!

KansasCityRoyalsThat first year’s excitement kind of wore off. In my second year I was dealing with blister issues and I was getting hurt a lot. I started to get frustrated. So I started to talk to God about it. I remember sitting there in my quiet time, and I said, “What is the point, God, of this game?”

It’s amazing how my thought process changed, and so quickly. In my first season in the big leagues, I was just excited to be there. I was so proud that I’d made it as a top athlete. And then by the second season, there I was wondering, “What is the point of being a top athlete? Why am I doing this?”

This was the kind of doubt that I really didn’t want to vocalize to a lot of people. I figured that not a lot of people would cry for me. You know, I was in the major leagues! When you’re a professional athlete, you won’t find a lot of people who will feel sad for you that you’re not enjoying it. Far from feeling sympathy, they’re probably going to be mad at you for not enjoying it! I mean, I get to play a game for a living right? I get to live out a dream that I’ve had since I was a little kid.

So I kept quiet about my frustrations. But they kept building. I was dealing with injuries. My teammates and I were dealing with failure. We weren’t winning! I just wasn’t enjoying baseball. So I didn’t understand why I was blessed with this gift. I didn’t understand how I could be so blessed and still have no joy in doing what I was doing.

I had to ask myself, if baseball was my calling, if I was doing what I was supposed to do, then why didn’t I have joy? Why couldn’t I find any happiness while I was doing it?

Have you ever questioned your own success in the same way? I had some work to do before I was going to connect the dots. I’ll resume this story next time. See you Wednesday.

7 thoughts on “Inviting Myself In, Part 2

  1. I wouldn’t have cried for you, but I might have applauded, and I guess that doesn’t show a sympathetic attitude either! Sorry about that!

    I’m glad you started to wonder why you’re here on this planet, and what purpose God might have for you. It’s produced great results!

    I’ve been asking a lot of my own questions about success lately. I’m looking forward to learning more of your thoughts on the subject.

  2. You are right. A lot of people wouldn’t understand. It is like if you are making a lot of money then you are not allowed to be unhappy, but people are people and they can be unhappy even when their dreams are coming true. Sometimes that is even harder to take. You work so hard to achieve something and then you achieve it and you see the reality which is still good but different than you imagined it to be then you have to figure out is it still what you wanted and why did you want it in the first place. It can be very confusing. Looking forward to your next post!!

  3. We are all trying to connect the dots. From my perspective, God gave you the gift of baseball to put you in front of the crowd, to give you the platform to share His message. He also gave you a gift with words, and the longing to bring glory to His name. You are an inspiration to many and, to me, that’s the point of the game. I look forward to your next post.

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